How often do we use those around us as a barometer for our success, rather than ourelves?

I'll go: All the freaking time.  

I have incredibly talented friends.  Incredibly accomplished friends.  Friends who are making more right out of college than I will probably ever make, friends who seem to ooze creativity, friends who seem to always be in the right place at the right time.  Am I proud of them and fortunate to count them as friends? Of course.  Do I sometimes use their success to put myself down because I don't feel like I've accomplished as much as they have? Absolutely.

In the world we're in, almost everything is framed as a competition: who has the most instagram followers, who goes on the most trips, who is better at creating. It's a racket that has permeated every part of us.  Healthy competition is a good thing, but when every aspect of your life feels like you need to be "winning" at it, it's exhausting, and not good for your friendships or your mental health.

So choose a different barometer.  Judge how well your doing on how much you, yourself, have improved.  If you're still working, you're getting better.  And just because someone is, by your perception, better than you, does not mean that your success and your improvement is not enough.

We all move at different paces and excel at different things.  No one can be completely awesome at everything.  Cut yourself some slack.

One Comment

  1. ALL my friends are suddenly up and going to law school. I love them so much and am so proud of them but it can be really hard not to feel like the dumb one, haha. Then I have the friends with awesome kids, or vacations, etc. etc. It's really so easy to get caught up in it - this is really good advice and a good reminder. :-)


Thanks for reading!