Today is mine and Caleb's one year anniversary.  It's been a roller coaster - me graduating college, Caleb moving up fast in his job (3 promotions in 2 years? The man is impressive), me finding a full time job, ministry, moving and traveling.  It's been hectic and stressful at times, but I can say beyond the shadow of a doubt that it's been the best year of my life.

country chic wedding

People told us before we got married that if you could "stick out" the first five years, the rest was a breeze.  Honestly, I kind of took issue with the choice of words here - marriage shouldn't be viewed as a burden to stick out, but an adventure with your best friend.  And if you choose that mindset, even the tough stuff gets easier.

I'm certainly not going to pretend to be a marriage expert, but here are a couple of things that I know have helped us have an absolutely fantastic marriage so far:

1. Communication.  Seems like a no-brainer, but when you have a problem, your husband should be the first person that you turn to... especially if it's a problem with him.  Discuss it with him before you take it as a complaint to others. Talk to each other, explain when you're irritated or hurt by something the other one has done.  Don't fly off the handle or sweep it under the rug - talk about it like adults.  This seemingly simple thing can go a really long way.

2. Learn your love languages.  We read The Five Love Languages as part of our premarital counseling, and man, did it make a difference.  Knowing how you receive love and how your partner gives it, and vice versa, really makes it easier to recognize the things that your spouse does to show love for you, and gives you ways to show love to them that you may not have thought of before.  For instance, Caleb's receiving language is words of affirmation, and his giving language is acts of service.  So he feels the most love when I tell him I love him and verbally express my appreciation, and he shows me that he loves me by fixing things around our place and taking out the trash :) You can buy The Five Love Languages here, I highly recommend it.

3. Have you own friends and hobbies.  Caleb and I have the same friend group, but sometimes he goes out with the guys and I go out with the ladies, or he goes to a get-together and I feel like staying home, or there's an event and he has to work... point being, we don't do everything together all the time.  And that's more than ok, that's healthy.  It's important to have your own life.  The two of you are one through marriage, but you don't have to be the same person, if that makes sense.  Cultivate your own hobbies, and don't be afraid to go do things on your own every once in a while.

One Comment

  1. First off Happy Anniversary and to many more. :) Marriage is just so fun and a lot of work, but you're right when you are with your best friend, it really is the best adventure. Love your advice :)


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